A Blessed Competition

So there I was, at the dirt track, in full runner's gear, only now fully realizing that I had challenged the town's stud to a competition over my girlfriend Betty. I don't know what troubled me more: That I had just bet her like a lifeless object or that at no point she seemed to be bothered by it. I didn't dare to mention it though. After all, she was there with me, telling me that she has faith in me.

I heard George's big horsepower approach long before I saw him. He showed up just in time to be five minutes late. To a DUEL, for God's sake! The audacity!

I was probably the only one who wasn't impressed by the absolutely straight and boring brake to a halt. The fact that the parking lot was covered in gravel and the car slided across it without any vigor made that onlooker reaction even more appalling.
The car had hardly stopped when the door opened and there he was - "Georgeous G" (How unbelievably pompous - I bet he created that nickname himself; He works in marketing after all.) - appeared from the dust clouds like magic, staring at me with a perfect fighter pilot smile and - of course - sunglasses. He started prancing around his brand new Shelby Cobra as if the cameras for a commercial were rolling, and I scolded me for getting enchanted by this foul magic, because suddenly he was standing right in front of me, in all his insultingly casual and not track-worthy clothes. (He was smart enough not to show up in cowboy boots though. ... Damn.)
He wouldn't have the show to himself though. Everybody knew what this was about, so I simply said:
"Let's cut to the chase."
Every part of his body seemed to speak: "Nice one, good job. Keep it up and one day you might be where I am."
But I kept my poker face up. (Imagine someone sitting at a poker table wearing gym clothes.)

So without saying anything more, we got into starting position right way. That is, I did. Because he 'did it again'; I swear, he assumed his launch position on the straight track exactly five seconds after me. This was fully calculated. He knew I would notice. (Maybe the wrist watch that I was still wearing to that runner's gear gave it away.) Anyway, this was a race, where even milliseconds count, so this was nothing inappropriate!

George was the one slacking, yet this all started to feel way too rushed to me.

I will cut to the chase, too, now, while writing this, to spare you further boring and me further painful details.
Everything was ready, guy at the finish line with two stop watches and all. Also a guy I don't even know who spontaneously decided to play sports announcer and who I spontaneously decided to fade out of existence.

I said I wanted to cut to the chase, right? OK, so this is all not why I am telling this story. It's not about the sudden BANG, the abrupt start or the seemingly endless distance to the finish line, not about the fiery thoughts that ran through my head or the fiery pain that ran through my legs.

The unthinkable happened when we were so close to the finish line that I could taste it.
Well, it was probably just the parking lot dust flung up from George's shoes. Because he was in the lead! Just enough to shatter my confidence but not enough to make me slow down in defeat.
And at that moment I remembered Betty's words: "I have faith in you.". I don't believe in God, but that word "faith" somehow seemed to unfold a magic. No one else saw what I did at that point - how everything became bright and shiny and warm and the clouds in the sky parted and a giant beam of light reached down, and I swear it looked almost like an arm with an open hand, as if God had reached down to bless me in this time of despair, all the way down and touching my head with his finger. And this wasn't just hallucination! I suddenly felt a surge of power in me, my pain was gone, and I felt like a machine, getting tunnel vision, speeding up in a superhuman manner towards the mere seconds away finish line, like a turbocharged race engine, way beyond anything seen before. THIS was later confirmed by ANYBODY who witnessed the race. This wasn't runner's high. It was supernatural!

...

AND APPARENTLY GEORGE GOT IT, TOO!!! !!!!! AAAAAAaaaaaaAAARGH!!! WHAT THE HEEEEELL, GOD!!??!!

ARE YOU PUNISHING ME FOR NOT BELIEVING IN YOU?!


The moment I crossed the finish line, stumbling, in utter confusion about what had just happened, - (The fact that I had lost became weirdly secondary) - I heard a silent but powerful voice in my head, and at the time, in that state of mind, I just assumed it must have been God, and I couldn't even exactly grasp what that voice was saying. It sounded like "troll owl" or such.

For years, even decades, I couldn't find out what it meant.

I never found another girlfriend either.
Well, that is ... I have a wife now. Met her on an internet forum, shortly after an epiphany had hit me that made me LOLROFL to tears.